My "Thorn"

I don't usually like to share things that I consider private with lots of people. You kind of have to "earn" the privileged of knowing what is going on in my life. I didn't grow up with a houseful of sisters who shared everything, so maybe that is why I hesitate to share my life?

Whatever the reason, this isn't an easy story for me to share. It is going to come in pieces. But, this is something I feel you should know about me, if we are going to spend time together.
I want to share how God has showed me His grace. And I want to remind myself.

My life was pretty much the picture perfect Christian girl life. I had a family that loved and supported me. I was in a great college, getting a great education. My testimony was "boring", as we were taught to view it. I had no great ways to describe how God had displayed His grace to me. No great ways, other than the thousand everyday things that I failed to be grateful for, or to even notice.

"And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure." ~2 Corinthians 12:7

Then, in the summer of 2010, God shook my world and got my attention. He sent me what I would describe as my "thorn", literally in my flesh. It took a while, but sometime in the next year, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called ulcerative colitis (U.C.). For the non medical types, I'll spare you details (in this post anyway!) and just say that, basically, my immune system decided to start fighting my own body, especially in my colon.

" Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:8

This is a chronic disease. It is something that is treated, but not cured. At least, it is not cured without God's supernatural working, and to this point He has chosen to withhold that.

Anyone who struggles with a chronic disease knows that the daily struggle gets old. It wears at the body and soul. I hope that by sharing my story, others may gain grace and be drawn into His presence.

"And He said to me,“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

In the years since my illness began, I have begged God to remove it. As I sit in doctor's offices and hospitals, I scream for it to just be taken away and end. I have questioned "why" He would allow this. I have struggled as I watched my health decline and gave up things I used to do. I cry over how my life has changed. I hate it. I am weak.

But, I don't want to miss anything that He has for me. I don't want to miss seeing Who He is, and if He has to use this to make my vision clearer, then... I want to be able to share my story and boast in Who He is.

"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." ~2 Corinthians 12:10

So, I am going to humbly begin to share.  For His glory.